Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Only in America

Next time, just stick with the $9 soda.

A Manhattan judge has thrown out an Upper West Side man's lawsuit against a movie theater that sold him a bag of popcorn with an unpopped kernel inside.

Steve Kaplan, 46, said he fractured his tooth when he chomped down on the kernel, causing $1,250 worth of dental damage.

Kaplan popped off to the theater and demanded it pay for his dental work.

"Confounding plaintiff's expectations, defendant refused to pay anything," said Civil Court Judge Matthew Cooper, who denied the claim, finding that Kaplan, an insurance broker, knew the risks when he ordered the snack.

"Anyone who has ever made fresh popcorn in a microwave, in a popcorn popper, or on the stove soon learns the bitter truth that the final product is almost always marred by the presence of unpopped, partially popped or burnt kernels," the judge wrote.

"Until such time as the same bio-engineers who brought us seedless watermelon are able to develop a new strain of popping corn where every kernel is guaranteed to pop, we will just have to accept partially popped popcorn as part and parcel of the popcorn popping process."

Kaplan was attending a late showing of the raunchy teen comedy "Superbad" at the AMC Lincoln Square Cinema on Sept. 17 of last year when he bit into the kernel.

"Approximately, 20 minutes later, he left the theater because his tooth hurt and, he added, because he found 'Superbad' to be a 'terrible' movie," the judge said.

The theater maintained it wasn't to blame for the rogue kernel.

"At trial, the theater's manager explained how a special slotted popcorn scoop was used in the concession stand to eliminate as many unpopped kernels as possible," Cooper wrote.

"The manager testified that, despite these efforts, it was impossible to serve a bag of freshly popped popcorn where all the kernels were fully popped."

Kaplan contended the theater should at least have had a sign warning of the perils of popcorn, but the judge refused to bite.

Cooper did offer some kernels of wisdom.

"So what is the popcorn-craving moviegoer to do to guard against dental damage, short of bringing a flashlight into the theater to inspect each kernel for possible hazards? One thing may be to resist the urge to devour the bag by the handful in favor of more cautious nibbling by the piece," he suggested.

"The other thing may be simply to say no to popcorn, with its tooth-fracturing potential, and settle for something else from the concession stand, like those giant-sized boxes of Raisinets or Milk Duds. But then again, aren't Milk Duds known to pull out your fillings?"

Kaplan declined comment.

Only in America

Next time, just stick with the $9 soda.

A Manhattan judge has thrown out an Upper West Side man's lawsuit against a movie theater that sold him a bag of popcorn with an unpopped kernel inside.

Steve Kaplan, 46, said he fractured his tooth when he chomped down on the kernel, causing $1,250 worth of dental damage.

Kaplan popped off to the theater and demanded it pay for his dental work.

"Confounding plaintiff's expectations, defendant refused to pay anything," said Civil Court Judge Matthew Cooper, who denied the claim, finding that Kaplan, an insurance broker, knew the risks when he ordered the snack.

"Anyone who has ever made fresh popcorn in a microwave, in a popcorn popper, or on the stove soon learns the bitter truth that the final product is almost always marred by the presence of unpopped, partially popped or burnt kernels," the judge wrote.

"Until such time as the same bio-engineers who brought us seedless watermelon are able to develop a new strain of popping corn where every kernel is guaranteed to pop, we will just have to accept partially popped popcorn as part and parcel of the popcorn popping process."

Kaplan was attending a late showing of the raunchy teen comedy "Superbad" at the AMC Lincoln Square Cinema on Sept. 17 of last year when he bit into the kernel.

"Approximately, 20 minutes later, he left the theater because his tooth hurt and, he added, because he found 'Superbad' to be a 'terrible' movie," the judge said.

The theater maintained it wasn't to blame for the rogue kernel.

"At trial, the theater's manager explained how a special slotted popcorn scoop was used in the concession stand to eliminate as many unpopped kernels as possible," Cooper wrote.

"The manager testified that, despite these efforts, it was impossible to serve a bag of freshly popped popcorn where all the kernels were fully popped."

Kaplan contended the theater should at least have had a sign warning of the perils of popcorn, but the judge refused to bite.

Cooper did offer some kernels of wisdom.

"So what is the popcorn-craving moviegoer to do to guard against dental damage, short of bringing a flashlight into the theater to inspect each kernel for possible hazards? One thing may be to resist the urge to devour the bag by the handful in favor of more cautious nibbling by the piece," he suggested.

"The other thing may be simply to say no to popcorn, with its tooth-fracturing potential, and settle for something else from the concession stand, like those giant-sized boxes of Raisinets or Milk Duds. But then again, aren't Milk Duds known to pull out your fillings?"

Kaplan declined comment.

Trouble!! (part4)


Trouble!! (part3)


Trouble!! (part2)


Trouble! (part1)


A really mean-looking catfish