Tuesday, 24 June 2014

E-Toll Protest - Farting against thunder.

As a resident of Jozi for a number of years, i have experienced all the thrills and depressing moments of travelling on the highways in and around the Metropolis. I have lived through the peak hour traffic, the disaster that was rush hour in 2008, when Eskom fell asleep on the job, and a 40 minute commute became a 4 hour crawl. The promises of a high-speed rail connection, the Shilowa express, came to fruition in the Gautrain and the revamped highways around Jozi. The dawning realization that the grossly inflated cost of the freeways would result in increased cost to each motorist led to the spontaneous e-Toll free campaign with its ubiquitous orange stickers and snarky remarks about SANRAL ,(the roads agency tasked with the maintenance and building of roads) and Nazir Alli, the abrasive CEO of SANRAL. Sadly, these protests are mostly ineffective and more a case of making the middle class motorist, who is most likely the party who will be likely to use the tollroads, build up a considerable unpaid balance with SANRAL. In my opinion, the costs will sooner or later be extracted from the pocket of the motorist, with regulatory connivance of the authorities. Complaining is not going to help.

Tempus fugit

Time flies when you are having fun. only just noticed that four years have passed since my last post on the blog. One divorce and three relationships later, here we are. Older, greyer, balder and to be brutally frank, not much wiser.

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Just plain disturbing

New Years Resolution, update

I have successfully made it nineteen days into the New Year without smoking another cigarette.
I did not buy an emergency backup packet, I stopped buying altogether. Aha! You say, suspiciously, that does not mean you didn't stop bumming a smoke! Gotcha!
I look at you with disdain: Nothing, nada, zip - no smokes!

Look, I nearly cracked yesterday. I sat in a never ending meeting yesterday, arguing about the best font to use in a presentation... yes, I know, boring!! As the meeting hand not ended after two hours without a decision being made, I started hallucinating that the skinny blond next to me looked just like a very long Marlboro Menthol.
I seriously considered sneaking out to join the smokers out on the balcony, even if it was just be sneak a few passive second hand inhales.


We eill see how long i can hold out. Giving up smoking is easy: I have done it many times!

Batman & Robin, not!

How do you spell dumb?

With a permanent black marker, according to the police chief of a small Iowa town where two men allegedly used a marker -- instead of a mask or stocking -- to disguise their faces before trying to break into a home.

"They were being dumb and, combine that with alcohol, and it was the perfect storm," Carroll Police Chief Jeff Cayler told CNN.

His officers were responding to a call about an attempted burglary when they pulled over a car matching the suspects' vehicle.

Inside, they found two men with their faces blackened with permanent marker. Police said the caller had described two men with painted faces attempting to break into an apartment last Friday night before driving off.

Matthew McNelly, 23, and Joey Miller, 20, were arrested at gunpoint after officers were told they might be armed. Neither man had a weapon. McNelly and Miller were each charged with attempted second-degree burglary. Both men were released after posting bond.

"We're very skilled investigators and the black faces gave them right away," Cayler joked. "I have to assume the officers were kind of laughing at the time. I've never heard of coloring your face with a permanent marker."

Cayler said police believe one of the alleged burglars targeted the home because he suspected his girlfriend had a relationship with the man who lived there.

"They probably were just not thinking straight and figured we'll go out and scare the guy or whatever," Cayler said.

"I've been chief here almost 25 years, been with the department 28½ years and I've seen a lot of things that make me laugh and weird things but this was probably the best combination of the two -- strangely weird and hilariously funny all at the same time."

Thursday, 14 January 2010

WWJD, updated for the revolution

My son went a religious phase a while ago, wore the wristband with the acronym WWJD, and went around checking everything he did after muttering 'What would Jesus DO' evertime he had to make a decision.

I think that the ANCYL should come out with a similar marketing plan, with a wrist band, with the acronym WWJD (what would JULIUS do) in the ANC colours, and hand them out at the entrance to every COSATU and Young Communist League meeting.

Maybe after reflecting on what Julius would do, and doing the exact opposite, our YOUTH (all curiously over the age 0f 30 - what is the cutoff date for adulthood in the ANC I wonder) will be able to stop making total dicks of themselves.

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Bye bye Bugs Bunny

Time magazine sometime runs weird articles:

The Swedes may be warm, but they are not warm and fuzzy. This fall, authorities rounded up 3,000 wild rabbits and then burned them for fuel at a heating plant in central Sweden. Bunny-killing is an annual practice in Stockholm — it's used to combat overpopulation in the city's extensive network of parks — but the animals had never been used to heat buildings before this year. "The bodies contain a lot of fat, and fat has exactly the same energy content as normal heating oil," explained Leo Virta, chief executive of Konvex, the company handling the bunny-burning. Supporters said that since the bunnies were going to be culled anyway, using them for fuel was both economical and environmentally friendly. Unsurprisingly, Swedish animal-rights activists were not convinced.

Beyond the call of duty

I just heard of a PA that clearly was very attached to her job...or is maybe just totally fucking nuts.

Her boss was on his way to the airport to catch a business flight. Traffic being what it is, he is running a bit late. He contacts her to confirm the departure times and tells her he is afraid that he may miss the flight.

Miss PA, being the helpful type, calls in a bomb threat to the airline. Her logic being, a bomb scare will create a delay, and Mr Boss will obviously not miss his flight.

Never mind that the authorities can and did trace the bomb threat to her work phone.

Makes you wonder.

Tuesday, 12 January 2010


Something very creepy happened to me this afternoon:

I turned into my father!

or maybe it was a rather a case of me doing a John Edwards, and chanelling the old fart, seeing that he died in 1994.

I caught myself telling my teenage son:

"turn that crap music down! It's way too loud! What the hell are you listening to?"

A cold chill ran down my spine, as soon as I heard that phrase. I heard the same sentence in 1977, when i was listening to my Bad Co LP's. all that was missing was the phrase: it's the devils music!
(LP's, for those of a reduced age, are those funny large black vinyl magodies in your fathers garage that nobody listens to , but no one dares to throw away).

Darwin Awards 2009

The city of Dinant is the backdrop for this rare Double Darwin Award. Two bankrobbers attempting to make a sizeable withdrawal from an ATM died when they overestimated the quantity of dynamite needed for the explosion. The blast demolished the building the bank was housed in. Nobody else was in the building at the time of the attack.

Robber One was rushed to the hospital with severe head trauma; he died shortly after arrival. Investigators initially assumed that his accomplice had managed a getway, but the second bungler's body was excavated from the debris twelve hours later. Would-be Robbers One and Two weren't exactly impoverished--their getaway car was a BMW.

These suckers clearly needed a trip to South Africa first. We have world class ATM bombers, who would only be too glad to share their skills in the hazardous occupation. You kinda feel sorry for these two: a clear case of more bang for your buck?