Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following
conversation took place:
First Guy: You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out
golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every
room in the house next weekend.
Second Guy: That’s nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build
her a new deck for the pool.
Third Guy: Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I
will remodel the kitchen for her.
They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has
not said a word. So they ask him, You haven’t said anything about what
you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What’s the deal?
Fourth Guy: I just set my alarm for 5:30a.m., When it goes off, I shut
off my alarm, give the wife a budge and say, ‘Golf Course or Intercourse?’
So she says, Wear your sweater.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Tuesday, 24 June 2008
Monday, 02 July 2007
Marriage quotes
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.
Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.
Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-Ring
* The Endu-Ring
Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.
Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!
There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!
There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.
A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive. -- Bruce Friedman
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. -- Marvin Kitman
A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.
A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.
Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.
Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-Ring
* The Endu-Ring
Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.
Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!
There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!
There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.
A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive. -- Bruce Friedman
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. -- Marvin Kitman
A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.
A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)