Tuesday, 29 January 2008

New Research

Research in South Africa has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected,
because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally
take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 5 years; It does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass
will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical level of
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element
that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as
many peons but twice as many morons

Wednesday, 16 January 2008

Rolling blackouts..we can't moan!

Most of Albania without electricity

January 16 2008 at 02:03PM

Tirana - The Albanian power grid collapsed Wednesday, leaving almost the entire country without electricity, local media reported on Wednesday.

The national power company Kesh announced that the problem affecting "every corner of Albania" may last several days.

A former Communist country with 3.6 million inhabitants, Albania is still plagued by a chronic shortage of power leading to regular blackouts and brownouts whenever the temperature drops.

The temperature in the capital Tirana was a mild 8 degrees Celsius on Wednesday morning. - Sapa-dpa

Monday, 14 January 2008


If men wrote advice columns


With compliments, Johannesburg Roads Agency?

Ready. Aim. Fire!

blowing bubbles

Baby Jets stick close to Mama

No shit, Sherlock!!


One handed boxing

I was very bored late last Friday evening, and could find nothing, but nothing to watch on TV. Switching between channels, I was taken aback by local boxing being broadcast on SABC2.
The programme was called "Baby Champs", and appeared to have been some kind of amateur knockout competition....four round bouts with much wild swinging and little effective punching.

What stunned me was a fight in the lightweight division. The one boxer was boxing with one hand held behind his back! NO SHIT! He boxed the entire third round with his left hand held behind his back. This display of absolute contempt drove his opponent and the audience wild!!

The ref eventually told him to box with both hands or be disqualified.

By the way, he won the fight....hands down!!!

Murphy's Lesser known Laws

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, on a hill, in the fog, and 9 times out of 10, they'll have GP plates on their car....

7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.

8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Through thick and thin.

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?"
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck... get the "F**K" away from me."


A list of the 20 most bizarre celebrity baby names.
· Kal-El - Child Of: Nicolas Cage
· Pilot Inspektor - Child Of: Jason Lee
· Fifi Trixibelle - Child Of: Bob Geldof and Paula Yates
· Apple - Child Of: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin
· Coco - Child Of: Courteney Cox and David Arquette
· Kyd - Child Of: David Duchovny and Tea Leoni
· Sage Moonblood - Son Of: Sylvester Stallone
· Destry - Child Of: Steven Spielberg
· Maddox - Adopted child Of: Angelina Jolie (and Brad Pitt)
· Memphis Eve - Child Of: Bono
· Ocean - Child Of: Forest Whitaker
· Prince Michael II/Blanket - Child Of: Michael Jackson
· Rocket Rodriguez - Child Of: Robert Rodriguez
· Blue Angel - Child Of: The Edge (From U2)
· Audio Science - Child Of: Actress Shannyn Sossamon
· Moon Unit and Diva Thin Muffin - Children Of: Frank Zappa
· Moxie Crimefighter - Child Of: Penn Jillette
· Tu Morrow - Child Of: Rob Morrow (from the TV show Numb3rs)
· Jermajesty - Child Of: Jermaine Jackson
Not on the list is Rachel Griffith's kid, named Banjo.

Friday, 11 January 2008

Tuesday, 08 January 2008