Questions you don't answer.

As any married man can confirm, there are a few pearls of wisdom that we can give to our unmarried male friends.

Rule no 1: Do not ever answer the following question-

"honey, do these jeans make me look fat?"

If you say yes, you are SCREWED. Move straight to the doghouse, do not pass go, do not collect R200. If you say no, and her arse looks like two pigs fighting in a hessian sack, you are SCREWED. Move straight to the doghouse, etc,etc. (you know she knows she has a fat arse...what are you trying to prove?)You must avoid at all costs telling her that it's not the jeans making her look fat, it is her fat making her look fat!

Rule no 2: This question usually winds up with you getting married or in splitsville.(take your pick)

"Honey, where is this relationship going?"

Going? You did not know relationships went anywhere except to bed? Answer this at your peril.
Take a deep breath, step back from the TV and your beer and focus very clearly here. Your entire bachelorhood stands at risk here, so a careful, well considered "I dunno, " is not going to do the trick.
Let her speak first and take your cue from her. If she talks about the next level and you haven't hit the sack yet, rejoice, young man, rejoice. Your luck is in.

If you have been sleeping with your partner, and she starts asking this question, one of two things needs to happen.

a) run like hell, if you value your bachelorhood; or

b)surrender gracefully, you are heading for a church very soon.